#love, Journal Post, Marriage& Love, Random, Singleness, writing

FaceTime

“He ends up caring for a woman that he can’t be with even though he might be best suited for her. Imagine only being able to experience someone on FaceTime while you watch them interact with other people in person…”

-Jermaine Glass

Imagine waking up every morning next to someone who’s not me. Imagine watching my life unfold in front of your eyes while you’re on the outside living a life that wasn’t a part of the original plan. Imagine watching me love someone the way I once loved you.

I tried so hard to wait on YOU. The universe knows I tried my hardest not to fall in love with another soul. I vowed to wait until the end of time if you decided to CHOOSE me. But you didn’t. Now you have to watch me love this beautiful soul the way I wanted YOU to love me. The way I wanted YOU to show up for me.

I took matters into my own hands and began loving this soul with every fiber in me. I fell in love with ME! I started loving myself wholeheartedly. Loving every piece of me. I started giving myself what I desired from you. So I became so consumed in loving me and caring for me that it didn’t hurt as bad seeing you love her out loud. Seeing you give her the life I wanted with you. We both have to live with the decision YOU made. After years of watching I’ve finally decided to let it be.

My heart will forever hold space for you, however, I must end this FaceTime with you. I no longer want a front-row seat to a life that you can’t give me. You’ll forever be my love, but I love me more…..

It’s bittersweet…

P.S. i love you 💜

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